


This is My Home

by Pandora_Cat



Series: Silver Linings [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Kageyama Tobio, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, M/M, Omega Hinata Shouyou, POV Hinata Shouyou, POV Kageyama Tobio, POV Multiple, Sorry a lot of angst, Trying to make a real story here and it's not working
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-02 13:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10945680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_Cat/pseuds/Pandora_Cat
Summary: Something is off with Hinata, that much is obvious. Or maybe it's better to say he's been "off" for years now, and maybe it's related to him being one of the rare male Omegas. And while the red head may be good at hiding it, maybe, just maybe, his past is coming to light bit by bit.And itreallydoesn't look too good.***In constant beta mode. Don't be surprised as this continues if previous chapters get small changes, including the title!





	1. Bright Red Strands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light A/B/O in the way it is usually seen. I'm practicing my writing skills here, sorry if you don't like it:(
> 
> Edit: Okay guys, I finally am editing all of this, changing the perspectives. I have three chapters done, but I haven't really wanted to post them because they just feel like filler. I don't know how to build emotion, but I'm working on it!

_Heh, I got a free cup today, count your blessings while they are around I guess; it’s been awhile since I could try something new. And it finally stopped raining, so i guess this, this is… nice._

Turning my head to the left and right, I crossed the street, a warm cup of peppermint tea warming my hand as I held it and my body as I drank it. My hair stuck out every which way while a few bright red strands remained glued to my forehead, damp from sweat. The cement was still covered in half-dried puddles and half-dead earthworms, basking in their final moments of sunlight, feet slipping past them and threatening to bring their impending death even closer. I headed back to my apartment, knowing exactly the type of scolding a brooding, tired Tadao would dole out when I arrived home nine hours late without the groceries I promised. An empty fridge plus a long-ass night shift does _not_ make a happy roommate.

A buzz from my phone drew my attention and I scrolled through a couple of texts. One particular message drew my attention, and a quick glance left me with my own sense of impending death. A couple more clicks on the keypad of my flip phone sucked out an exhausted moan and brought my slow, short strides to a halt. Another graveyard shift tomorrow night, that makes three in a row. Impending death confirmed.

_ll I want is sleep, is that so much to ask for? Why does Fujiwara-san keep switching all of the nurse schedules? I need some consistency damn it._

The sun seemed a little brighter than usual, burning my slitted eyes and reminding me of all the little pleasures I could no longer afford to have. Like sunglasses apparently. I could always use a pair after finishing one of my heats

_Why. Why. Fucking why. I mean, I know it’s my fault for not having sunglasses because I lost them ‘n all. But I’ve been taking my meds, so why'd it even happen? Thank god it only lasted one night. If it went on any longer I think I might have killed everyone in the building. Or maybe just myself. I mean seriously-OOF!_

Slamming into an ominously familiar wall, my lethargic legs froze in place. Despite my complaining pupils,  I tilted my head up to be greeted by the smile of my day-job employer Kaneshiro Atsushi. Scrambling back a few steps, I stifled a squeal and gave a couple of small, quick bows.

“Good morning Kaneshiro-san! God! I’m so sorry for bumping into you again-”

“Hinata-kun, Hinata! Calm down. It’s fine, look.” Kaneshiro coasted an empty hand over his shirt to brush out a couple of wrinkles, the other still securely holding on a coffee, steaming and fresh. “No harm no foul, right? Both of our drinks look like they’re fully intact and the sun’s still shining right? Besides, nothing could possibly compare to the first time you bumped into me.” A few chuckles from Kaneshiro drifted through the air as he thought about their first meeting.

“Please don't remind me, god I'm an idiot! I just stayed out too late last night hanging out and didn’t get much sleep and-”

The waving of Kaneshiro’s hand cut off my spew of excuses. A small smile still on his lips, the restaurant-owner appraised my tattered appearance, eyes shifting from my sweat-drenched shirt and knotted hair down to my bare feet and stained sweat pants.

“Hinata, like I said, no problem. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you later on today right? Some of our chefs have really been missing you.”

“Yes sir! And I apologize about missing my shift yesterday, everything has been so crazy lately, with me trying to finish up my studying for the Japanese Nursing Licensure Exam and then of _course_ I get sick and have to miss work and I can't tell you just how  _sorry_ I really am.”

Shaking his head, Kaneshiro grabbed Hinata's shoulders and rubbed small circles with his thumbs,“ Hinata, Hinata? Calm down okay? And please, please just make sure that you _actually are_ fine okay? You know you can come talk to me is you need something right? I think we’ve worked together long enough for that.” A small sigh escaped from Kaneshiro as he began to turn away.

“Oh! Yes! Umm, of course! See you later!”

Nervous squeaks punctuate several syllables as I watched my boss move down the street. It was my turn to sigh as I looked over myself, picking at the gel stains on my pants and hating how noticeable it was against the light grey of the fabric.

 _Geez, it’s like he can see right through me. Luckily he never pushes the issue, but I think I’ll need to be more careful. Stupid heats._ _I guess I should be grateful that it’s only gel that is stained on here, much easier to clean off than anything else that might be on it. I guess that’s proof enough that my meds_ are _working_.

An uncomfortable gulp made its way down my throat as I remembered the last time I forgot to take my meds. That heat lasted much longer than a night. Thank god for Tadao, otherwise it would’ve been much worse.

_Oh yeah! Tadao! Let’s go, let’s go!_

My feet crunched against gravel as I sped the last few blocks back to his flat. Skipping into a short cut through a park, my small frame dodged bushes and trees and finally I was back to my apartment complex, _my_ _home_. The faint smell of cigarettes and mold didn’t even bother m anymore, as long as that area was _mine_.

_Ahhhhh. It’s good to be back. If I have anything to be grateful for, I guess it’s the fact that I have a pair of quick legs and a place of my own. Silver linings, silver linings..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So I decided to write a story with alternating POV, beginning with Hinata, and I'll try to stay true to their original personalities (I know my first work is NOTHING like Kageyama, that was kinda the point but I think I still should've made a little less fluffy or somethings. It's Kags for godsake). I'm not the best at putting together a story, so any tags I put may not occur into FAR into the story (aka the rape-tag). 
> 
> Whatever the case, enjoy the weekend!


	2. Fluffy Black Strands

“Twenty three. Twenty three and I still can’t get a handle over my second gender,” Shouyou moaned. “I mean, what’s _wrong_ with me?”

“Shouyou, relax. Your second gender is a little harder to handle than most people. You’re an omega for fucks sake. I would've thought you’d have at least that much figured out by now, that it _is_ gonna suck sometimes. That is the price you pay for being loved by everyone all the time," I responded.

"Hey, I can be loved by everyone without my second gender thank you very much, I don't need a crutch," Shouyou snarled, his voice abnormally gnarled with hurt.

"I know, I know, sorry for that. But come on, everyone knows _you_ don't need a crutch to make friends. Plus, you put enough scent blockers to cover up the stench of a dozen pubescent alphas. No one is your friend because of your omega. I'm just saying, being an omega has some perks to it that you are trying  _way_ to hard to hide, I mean. Why do you hide all of your Omega pheromones? A few would be pretty convenient, especially for getting some new customers at the restaurant..."

"I. Don't. Like. It. Never have, it only reminds me how messed up I really am," Shouyou quietly quipped, settling down on our couch as he brought his feet up onto its pillows.

"God, nothing is wrong with you, really. _Nothing_. So just shut up and pick up the groceries you promised,” I rebutted with a pout. “And seriously? Why are you the one being comforted right now? I’m the one with no food after a twelve hour shift.” Chancing a quick glance over at Shouyou, curled into himself on our loveseat and looking much smaller than his usual boisterous personality lets him appear, I backtracked a little bit.

“Okay, Shouyou. Shouyou.” A small nod from the young man showed that he was listening. “Geez, just look at me.” I reached over the couch and grabbed Shouyou’s face. “I really mean it. You are fine, no one who knows cares, and anyone that would care doesn’t know. You. Are. Fine. So just pick your butt off that shitty couch and get moving. For all the whining I hear from you about needing to ‘take care of yourself’ and all, I feel like I should see more effort.” I scolded.

“Hey!” A quick slap knocked my hand away from its tight hold on his cheeks. “I do take care of myself. I just need a little time to… reinvigorate myself!”

“And sitting on a couch for two hours is your first step?”

“Hey! It’s called rest!” Shouyou called out. “Even just one night of heat sucks you know…”

I nodded with approval, seeing a little more of his regular fire burning again. “Yeah, yeah. And a beta like me could never understand, I get it. Now let’s go get those groceries together, huh little guy? I am pretty sure the pocky is on sale today.”

A much more energetic nod is elicited this round as Shouyou pushed himself from the couch to get ready, with one more complaint left. “Fine. And I’m not little.”

“Says the guy that needs help getting bowls from the top shelf every time.”

“Hey, I have a stool,” Shouyou mumbled as I chuckled.

 _Much better,_ I thought to himself.

* * *

 

Making our way through the aisles, Shouyou somehow rediscovered his usual boundless energy, leaping side-to-side alongside me. Every few steps he'd grab a couple of items and bounce them between his hands before tossing them into the cart.

“Shouyou, please be more careful with the food? I’m tired of coming home to find literally all of our fruits bruised. And I really don’t want to deal with another spill after-”

“Sure thing _Dad_. I’ll be more careful.”

“Maybe if you treated the food with more respect I wouldn’t have to act this way.”

“Yeah, and maybe you should learn to be more grateful to the angel that cooks _all_ of your meals."

"Hey there little mister. I make breakfast for myself, thank you every much."

Shouyou snorted. "As if making some cereal counts as 'cooking'. You really shouldn’t complain so much about the food if I’m the one who always cooks with it. Plus, I think it tastes better when it’s softer. It brings out the flavour!”

“Flavour my ass. And you know I can’t cook well, you should be grateful you don’t have to suffer through my homemade meals. I’m just sticking to our agreement. You cook, I clean, everyone’s happy with that and don’t you try to deny that Shouyou.” I said, finishing it off with a strong glare that Shouyou tried his best to avoid.

“Shouyou?” A voice resonated across the pineapples and apricots that surrounded the pair, causing me to turn around and Shouyou to freeze up. “Hey, is that really you Hinata?”

Looking down at Shouyou, his breathing was unusually shallow as his body stood motionless, with a strange, blank expression fitting over his usually explosive emotions. A tense atmosphere choked out any thoughts of assuming this was a "good" kind of stillness. Except for a couple mumbles I couldn't pick up, Shouyou didn’t move a muscle.

“Hey Shouyou, do you know this guy?” I asked, gesturing to the tall, plain frame of the stranger before us. The dude was wearing faded jeans and a clean, black shirt; his short black hair adorned his head in tame bundles of fluff. While his demeanor could definitely be seen as approachable, friendly even, sleep deprivation seemed to settle in his bend  of his sunken posture and the lines of his dark eye-bags. Whatever energy his body lacked, however, his eyes themselves seemed to have picked up. They were lit up with surprise, his mouth hanging open slightly as his lips formed a small “o”.

Slowly, Shouyou began to turn around and face the man, expression tight and uncomfortable- plain bizarre for the kid I know. It reminded me of a squirrel who came home to his nest of acorns only to find dozens of hard, empty shells and honey badger taking residence. There were traces of shame along with other creeping shades of shock, fear, maybe a little anger. Emotions I never really saw in Shouyou, except for once when they were first getting to know each other.

As the shorty still refused to speak, I felt himself gradually blocking him from the stranger’s view without really knowing why, bringing up my hands as if to defend Shouyou from whatever past existed between these two. “Hey, I don’t know what Shouyou means to you but-”

Before I could finish Shouyou cut in, “Hey. I thought I said I didn’t need to be defended.” Turning to the stranger, he tilted his head up a tad to meet the newcomer’s gaze. “Hello Ennoshita-san, it’s been a while.”

“Err, umm. Yeah,” Ennoshita responded. “It’s been what, what..six years or so?”

Shouyou offers a small, reserved smile. “Yeah, somethin' like that. Crazy or what? We’re so old now.” A couple of breathy huffs escaped Shouyou's lips, apparently the newest replacement for his bell-like laugh. Turning back to me, Shouyou said, “Hey, like I said, I’m not feeling too good so I’m going to head out back home if you don’t mind. See you later Ennoshita-san!”

“Home? What are you talking about, we barely-”

“It’s fine, I got a pair of keys, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“Wait, what? Fine go home, but lock the door, we don’t want some idiot waltzing in while you’re sleeping or showering or something.”

“Hey!" A weak punch glanced off my bicep ( _Where'd all his energy go?_ ). "I can take care of myself, see you at home.” A quick wave was all we got as Shouyou sprinted down the aisle and out of the store.

A few moments of silence stretched out between 'Ennoshita-san' and I as we stared through the store window, eyes following Shouyou as he sprinted away.

“He didn’t look that sick to me, but it’s nice to see he still has his speed. That’s… reassuring,” Ennoshita commented, unsure of what else to say.

“Not always, definitely not always my friend. Sometimes.. that kid.. ugh.” I groused as he stuck out his hand. “Kaneshiro Tadao. I’m Shouyou’s flatmate.”

“Ennoshita Chikara, I was one of Hinata’s volleyball teammates back in high school. Nice to meet you Kaneshiro-san”

“Nah, Tadao is fine with me, everyone calls me that. And high school huh?" I peak over to try to get a better look at the haggard man, I never get to meet anyone from Shouyou's past. "Reaaalllly. Shouyou doesn’t talk too much about his past, but from the little bit that I have heard, it sounds like he really liked high school, and that he misses you guys.”

The man’s eyes widened a bit as his lips curved down in thought. “Huh, sure doesn’t seem that way. I don’t know about the rest of his class, but no one on the team has been able to find him since he left Miyagi five years ago. A few of us were scared he had gotten himself into trouble- he's always had a good knack for finding it. But, honestly, I just thought something happened between him and his old boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio, not that I ever asked either one.” Ennoshita scratched the back of his neck. Glancing apprehensively between the floor and my eyes, the stranger seemed to ask for a few more crumbs of info.

“Hmmm, eh,” I mused quietly before looking back at him. “I didn’t ask him about this stuff either, if you’re wondering. I’ve known him for around…” pulling out my fingers, I began to count the digits, "one, two, three years? A little more than that. I met him when he was nineteen or so. Sorry, but I don't have much to tell you. We ended up moving in together, but he's never been very open with me about his past. Whenever I'd ask what he was doing before I met him… well, I'll just say he never wanted to get into it. And I figured, why push it?”

Cutting off there, I glanced at the almost empty cart I was pushing and began to make my way over to check out, leaving him stuck in place.

_Clearly that guy wants to know more, but I don't know how Shouyou feels about him. Let's just leave it as it is and if Ennoshita or whoever comes up again, whelp, we'll deal with that when we get there._

"See you later Ennoshita-kun!" I called out from the end of the aisle as he turned to corner. 

 _Let's see what'll happen from here_... _Shit. Forgot the pocky._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH! ENNOSHITA! I don't know why, but I feel like he is a more timid version of a Suga-Daichi combo. I am kinda tired of the trope of having Daisuga always coming to the rescue, so I want to experiment with Ennoshita kinda playing both roles, but not being " _perrrrrfect_ " at it... we'll see how it all goes!
> 
> ***Edit: Sorry, just put up a chapter and took it down because I needed to change some stuff. I'll put it back up soon!


	3. Uncooperative, Dark Clumps

Fiery red curls oscillated to and fro on the spiker's head as he turned every which way, taking in the cheering crowds.

“We did it Bakageyama! Our quick worked! It WORKED!” squealed Hinata as he tried to pull himself together, struggling to remain on two feet as exhaustion threatened his aching muscles. A smile, of course, was plastered on his face and spread so wide across it that it threatened to split it in two.

“Of course it worked dumbass. It’s our quick after all, and we’ve done it hundreds of times by now,” I chided, too elated to even shake my head in reproach. A quick grab at the short spiker brought those frazzling brown orbs to a halt, as we turned. to face each other. Our eyes began to eat up the sight of our partner, quickly focusing to such an extent that the crowd seemed to no longer exist.

“But! I mean! It still  works, how could they not have picked up on us after doing it so many times, the same thing over and over and over!” Short hiccups of laughter bubbled from Hinata’s chest as I struggled to keep a smile from creeping onto my face. Nope, it’s there, it’s definitely there.

“Dumbass,” I spat out, my voice coated with honey instead of its usual sharp barbs. “Of course it still works. Because it’s _us_. We’re invincible, how many times do I need to repeat the same stupid phrase before you get it through your thick skull.”

Taking the orange fluff into my arms, I squeezed him as tight as I possibly could, as if the boy would disappear at a moment’s notice. Every time we came together in flaring emotion or soft desire, I couldn’t help but pause in quiet admiration of him.  

_God, when did I become so embarrassing. I suck._

But I couldn't help it, with the way his tiny hands flit in excitement and his tiny feet pounded the floorboards and his humongous eyes shone brighter than the sun. With the way his little bubble of light basically burned me everyday, and razed every barrier I put up.

_Tobio you need to stop now, right now._

Even the way our bodies fit together, Hinata's thin arms wrapped around my torso, seemed to be a sign that we fit each other perfectly. That we were _meant_ to come together as one, in volleyball or anything else.

That pesky smile, still pulling me into dangerously unfamiliar laps of ecstasy, refused to budge from my face, just as Hinata's seems to be burning brighter and brighter. But who cares what I looked like or whether I may or may not lose my eyesight from staring at Hinata too long. We won and we’re together and nothing could stop us. No matter what.

_..._

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BUZZ_ **

**_BU---_ **

Shrill cries pulled me from my sleepy reveries and extricated that languid twist of a smile from my face, slowing turning it into a grimace with the coming of reality.

 _GRRRUHHHH. I hate alarms. Really though, alarms must be the bane of every young adult, cutting away all the good that exists in the world. I may hate alarms more than I hate mornings,_  I thought to himself, moaning with fatigue as I tried to pull myself upright. Stalling for a moment, I recalled my dream and quit straining against the will of my tired body, falling limply back into bed.

_I can't fight against my body and my mind at the same time, seriously, just one normal dream for a normal person. That’s all I need. Please. World. Have some mercy._

Despite everything I had been doing to remove my unsettling dreams, nothing seemed to be working. Going to bed early, drinking hot tea an hour before I was ready to sleep, cutting off all night snacking (which is _really_ hard for a training volleyball player in his twenties, let me tell _you_ ), even trying to find that underlying “problem” people keep saying causes nightmares. But seriously, if it was so easy to find said problem, I would’ve done it by now. Which reminds me, I did text Suga-san last night about this issue, a last-ditch effort to solve this dream problem (Red Dreams, as I have taken to call them). As much as I hated it, hated the fact I still relies on my high school senpai, I couldn't help it. I don't have many connections.

_No matter how good at volleyball, my shitty social skills stay as shitty as ever._

You'd think some kind of improvement would have happened by now, at twenty-three. But that’s beside the point. The point is these Red Dreams need to stop, and apparently even my pride won’t deny this fact.

It’s not like these dreams are exactly surprising per se. Almost at some point every week, or every day lately (that is what always happened when I was headed into a rut, damn my Alpha), some thought of ~~my~~ the little high school maniac would come to mind, reminding me of what we had before. And what wasn’t there anymore.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up. You really don’t need to think about that dumbass so much, especially when you have no idea where he is._

Walking down the hall and into the kitchen, I grabbed a box of milk from the fridge and promptly slammed the door closed, jumping at the loud thump that rang out in the early morning. Heavy feet dragged me to the living room as I draped myself onto a couch, my mind continuing to drift through memories of nostalgia, ~~suppressed~~  normal feelings (definitely  _not_  fluttering and burning in my stomach) surfacing as I struggled to figure out what I wanted.

_This is just stupid. Why do I feel like I am waking up into a nightmare every morning instead from one. God, I need to get my head on straight. I just need to forget right? That’s all I can do. Move on. He left  me… right? Not that I could ever figure out why._

Unconsciously, thoughts of my high school years began to surface alongside my feelings, Fragments of memories of them sitting together during lunch in the grass, of falling asleep with Hinata folded into his chest. Of bone crushing hugs, mostly crushing Hinata, that occurred after the win of every game, or quiet, gentle hugs heated with with remorse and regret that occurred the night after a loss. Of the (beautiful) first year we spent together, getting to know one another and learning to love each other ( _God, can i get anymore gay, pull it together man_ ), and the second year when they felt so comfortable they could speak with fleeting glances across any court or classroom. And that really was a talent with a hyperactive redhead who had the attention span of a sugar-filled field mouse.

With unstoppable momentum, even the memories that I tried my best to ignore began to manifest: coming back in my third year to see Hinata and his broken smile; or feeling the stiffness in his shoulders when we came together in a hug. Remembering all those breaks we should have spent together playing volleyball or playing with each other- but that Hinata had spent on his own, stitching tight one of his friendliest, falsest smiles as classmates surrounded him.

Hinata had been strange, off, since our return from summer break back then. But it wasn’t unbearable until we began not seeing each other at all, when Hinata refused to even look at me, had refused to meet my eyes. What had I done, why wouldn’t Hinata _talk_ to me about it? Was it an Omega thing? Or my Alpha?

_If it had anything to do with those stupid comments made at the volleyball camp, again, why wouldn’t he talk about it? Nothing could ever shut Hinata up before. So what the fuck had changed?_

_I guess that’s just another thing that makes Hinata a mystery. But why do I still have to care so much._

“Ughhhhh, I better get started on my run at least. With or without that dumbass, I’m at least capable of jogging after five years,” I grumbled to myself, my own hair, usually soft and settled in controlled locks of black, remained fixed to my forehead in uncooperative, dark clumps from last night's 'enthralling' adventures.

Unable to stop them, a few final words slipped into my mind.

_Why did you leave me, why did you break your promise. You... you... You said you would never..._

"Stop." I barked aloud, needing to actually hear the words in order to heed their instructions. I allowed one final declaration, trying my best to impede the threatening sting growing in my currently dry eyes.

  
_Better to not fall down that rabbit hole now. There is nothing I can do about the past, and it looks like that part of my past has nothing to do with my future. Just... just forget it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I am going to change the rating because the next chapter may or may not get a little intense for our younger readers here.  
> I am going to be talking about a bit of sexual content, not smut ('cause I have no idea how to write it), but a harsh dude conversation about sex. I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable, but I feel like it is the best way to get across what "second genders" mean in this world that I am writing. Anyway, this is just a heads up. Getting ready for one of my class orientations now, byeeee~


	4. Chalky, Rusted Strands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I have a couple chapters done, but I didn't like them so I never posted them. I just keep reading other people's amazing fanfiction and then get discouraged because everyone else's is SO GOOD. I have a plan for the story, but it seems long and probably not that interesting. I dunno.... I need some encouragement to finish this. Hopefully I find the motivation guys!

Frozen. Everything is completely, utterly, deplorably still.

Nothing would listen to me, frozen in a state of shock, approaching desperation but too overwhelmed to react.

My voice is caged in my throat and what noise did get choked out is squeezed through my larynx in pitiful, whining huffs- but it isn’t my voice.

My hands betray me as they clench stiff and tight in his stained shirt but refuse to push, to _move_ \- they don’t feel like they’re mine.

My legs refuse to run or kick or do _anything_ \- they are so disturbingly still that I could feel every goosebump build as slick drips down them, thick and slow (or maybe that’s just sweat. Please God, tell me that it’s just sweat).

Hands tear at my muscles and the fingernails bite into my skin, and every minute detail is etched on my body as deeply as it is etched in my mind.

These legs, these stupidly thin, damn chicken legs refuse to do anything except prop me between the wall of cement behind me and the wall of humans in front of me. Or maybe there isn’t a wall behind me, holding me up, just like there isn’t a wall of people in front of me. Maybe it’s just two? One? My goddamn eyes are as cooperative as anything else. They have a will of their own, and it is _not what I **want**_ **.** They’re frozen, along with everything else, staring blankly into the still charcoal, summer sky.

The only thing that won’t freeze is my heart, pounding so much louder and harder and LOUDER and HARDER that maybe, maybe it was just my heart that caused my body to thump against the wall. Maybe _that_ is what is sending my back into the grit of the brick behind me, in measured, climaxing counts- _thump… thump… thump, thump, thump, thump thump thumpthumpthump._

Maybe it had nothing to do with this Alpha.

_Maybe, maybe this isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. Why is this happening, why won’t it stop. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stopmakeitstopmakeitstop._

Loud gasps break through and suddenly I am aware of how  _heavy_  I feel. Coated with lead, soaking into my flesh and dripping down my throat.

_Why can’t I move, what’s going on! I- I don’t know._

And I didn’t, I didn’t know anything except that I felt so small and so,  _so_  dirty.

But. Maybe I knew one more thing.

That my heart also betrayed me. Because I _prayed_ for it to freeze just like everything else.

 _Why won’t my fucking heart just_ stop.

**HONK**

**HONK**

**HONK**

**HONK**

**HO-**

A loud car alarm blared through the cracks of my window, jarring me from my thoughts and back into reality. Settling down a bit, I turned to stare blankly at the mirror tacked to my closet door, usually hidden behind piles of clothes and scattered papers. I had been trying to keep my room cleaner lately, hoping that by controlling some small portion of my life, maybe it could escalate to a control of something more. I found that I disappointed myself again. Nothing changed.

Carefully, almost suspiciously, I faced the mirror and took in the pale, skinny ginger that gazed pitifully back. As I began to turn, his movements copied mine. As I began to square my shoulders, so did he. Straightening my back, I searched his figure, trying to find the connection that made him _me._ Trying to find some evidence ( _where is the goddamn evidence)_ that he- that _I_ was different now.

Despite my work to get back on track, nothing stuck, nothing  _helped._   My hair had gotten a bit of its vibrant orange energy back, finally losing its chalky, rusted strands. My face seemed to sag a little less, a lot less if Tadao is to be believed. I found that I  _could_  be happy. I knew it, I felt it could happen- it  _did_  happen. And to _me_. Sometimes. But something in my life would always pull back, divert my path until it looped in back chaotic circles, flying around me and choking out the air around me until it died.

But _I_ never did- never died. I remained standing, and no matter how many times I choked, no matter how many times I felt the air just leave _me_ , I. _never. Died._ ( _Why couldn’t I just die_ )

 _That’s a good thing,_ I repeated to that ghost in the mirror. _That’s a go- it’s a good, good thing._

And it was, most days- the days when I _could_ feel myself coming back. Just not on days like this, when some nameless terror blew around me and bit into me, hard and long.

 _Well, I realized long ago that I’m different now. That I’ve changed. But, why can’t I change_ **now**. _Why can’t I just, why can’t I be_ better.

Taking another glance in the mirror, I felt myself beginning to break down again.

_The world deserves better, better than I can give._

Every time I found a path, something that could help me move forward, something would crash into it. Or burn it, or it’d just suddenly end. I didn’t even know they _could_ just end. I’d given up those dreams I had as a first year in high school. Being an ace on the national team, well, that was so hard to let go at first, but obviously, I couldn’t do it. No amount of hard work would be able to overcome the pathetic nature I was afflicted with. Not to say letting that go was easy. It was all I dreamt and thought and _pleaded_ for, for so long. It felt like I’d cut off my own arm when I realized it wouldn’t happen.

But I accepted it. And as time passed and more and more dreams crumbled into dust, as relationships began to feel thin and frail, until they barely existed at all, I learned to accept those too. I could handle that, because I felt the bits and pieces of my ambitions drift down and dust the path I walked on and coat my tired feet and legs. They blew in the wind and filled my nose with the sweetest scents. That I did know.

I wanted _so badly_ to fly through the air again, to just for another second to experience that insurmountable bliss. But looking at my scrawny form in the mirror, not a centimeter taller than I was in my first year and seeming so _lost_ …

 _What does that even look like, “lost”_ , I thought to myself.

I’ve spent years trying to find “it”, to point my spindly little finger at the culprit that made my face fall so heavy when I was alone. Was it my hollow eyes, sagging shoulders, the curved spine? Did “it” appear when I was around other people too? Or was “it” physical at all? I knew what I was doing _now_ , I knew what was happening. Why didn’t that change anything? 

Finally giving up the existential face-off with myself, I turned back to sift through my pile of clean clothes, looking for my scrubs and mentally preparing for my first graveyard shift of the new month. Grabbing what was on top, I barely had to lift it to tell it isn’t mine. The length of the shirt was clearly meant to fit a torso twice my size.

Since high school, I had grown accustomed to being the way I was, I could usually just ignore it- it wasn’t hard to do if you move around enough and just _act_ like you’re bigger, stronger, ( _Not pathetic_ ). And I made sure to do just that. It was only when I was alone that it _really_ irked me, when I could let those last clinging splinters of bitterness surface in my thoughts. Exhaustion began to burn into a bit of anger as inane, petty thoughts buried the deeper, darker ones.

 _A little bit taller, is that so much to ask for? Maybe then I could do something for myself for a change, and everyone would stop messing with me- or pitying me. Even Minoru is at least 175 centimeters, probably taller now that he is out of high school_.

Mentioning the other male Omega brought on its own bad tastes of bitterness as well, but those were much easier to bury. It was never Minoru’s fault, really. It had always been my own stupidity.

 _My own idiotic, helpless, typical_ ignorance _that brought me there, curled_ \- clacking teeth brought me back to my current duty as sharp incisors nipped at the tip of my tongue, hard enough to draw blood.

_Clothes, clothes, now I know I just washed the last load… where are those clothes._

Going through the top of the next pile over, soft feet echoed down the hall until their owner came to a stop leaned against my doorframe, awkwardly trying to find a comfortable stance. Still sifting through my clothes, _not_ ignoring him or anything (that’s childish. I’m not a child anymore, thank you very much), I felt my shoulders tense up as he spoke up.

“Sh-Shouyou. I know the house rules and everything has always been to stay out of each others rooms and everything, but can you let me in today?”

“No, I’ll be out in a few minutes. Wait in the hall.” I bit out, _Calm down, geez. He’s not doing anything, idiot_.

Slowly pacing back a few steps, Tadao shakes his head and pads into the room with a newfound confidence.

“Shouyou, no. You can’t just keep on saying ‘later’, that’s not how this is going to play out.”

“ _Yes_ I can, I’m allowed to make my own decisions. Who put you in charge of the goddamn world,” Hinata scoffed, feeling a scowl forming. _Wait, stop scoffing. That’s just going to make him want to talk more. Why can’t I just go back to_ normal _._

Gritting his teeth, he powered through. “True, you are definitely capable of making your own decision. And almost a week ago you decided we’d talk about this soon and I think it’s been long enough. If you didn’t act so _weird_ all the time, I’d have let this go, but as things are now, I can’t.” Moving closer, Tadao stepped forward until his stood right behind HInata.

“What do you-“

Cutting back in, he continued, “I know you need to eat before you head out to the SKH for your nightshift… but I really think you need to get this out.”

“ _I_ need to get this out?” I countered, finally turning around with my scrubs in hand, tilting my head up to scowl directly at him. “Don’t you mean _you_ ‘need’ to get the next bit of gossip?”

“Oh, shut up,” Tadao rejoined, as his last bit of patience wore out. “Like I ever get in your business. Hinata, I respect you. I really, _really_ do. This is the first time I’m even in your fuckin’ _room_. I’m not pretending to know everything you’ve had to deal with, and I can’t pretend to know your life, but I know _you_. Being your flat mate for the past five years hasn’t just been for kicks. I know you, I care about you, and I know _you_ know I care too.”

As I snorted, he quickly quipped, “and I know you understand what I’m saying so shut up.”

Sighing a bit, he gestured to the bed and I tentatively nod ( _Why am I acting tentative, I’m never timid, but I really don’t want him to lay there but it’d be weird to say something now-_ ) as I begin to lap away the little bit of blood that leaked onto my lip.

“Hinata, you really need to stop biting your tongue when you’re nervous, alright? I don’t wanna see you bite it off in some freak accident ten years from now. Then it would be even _harder_ to understand what you are saying,” mumbling, he continued, “Your weird onomatopoeia is enough to deal with.”

As he looked over at me to gauge my reaction, I tried my best to become expressionless- not exactly my strong suit ( _Wait, why expressionless? I’m never expressionless. Normal face, normal face_ ). “So I talk weird and bite my tongue, I’ll work on it. Now get out of my room.”

As I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the door, he planted himself more firmly into the mattress and jerked his arm back- pulling me along with it. My head banged against he chest as my stupidly small body falls top of him.

With a slight nudge, Tadao pushed me off of him. “Damn, I always forget how tiny you are. Sorry.”

Breathing a little harder, I pulled my hands away and rolled onto the floor. Sprawling my legs out in front of me and leaning my head back against the mattress, I waved off his apology and settled a little bit, “S’okay, you don’t need to apologize for something like that, I forget sometimes too.” ( _That seems more like me, right?_ ) “Now if you would just _leave_ -“

“Oh, no, no, no. Not without some answers. It’s been a few days since I met that Ennoshita guy, since _you_ began going off the deep end again, and I think it’s time we finally had our talk. It doesn’t have to be here, or even about him. We can talk about whatever, just while you’re making your dinner. Heck I’d even try to make some _for_ you if it meant we can finally _talk_.”

“Bleh, no thanks baka,” getting up and brushing off my pants, I tried my best to keep my voice steady. “Fine, just get out of my room, we’ll talk alright?” Bending down, I grabbed his shirt and tossed it to him. “Now get your lazy ass _off my bed_.”

“Cool, let’s just talk a little- it won’t be too long,” Tadao said, quickly popping up and scurrying to the door. As he turned around, he finally noticed I hadn’t moved an inch.

“Shouyou, _please_. Everyone keeps asking me what’s wrong at the restaurant, because you definitely haven’t been the same.” Walking up to me, he took my hands into his and bent his neck in an attempt to find my eyes ( _Just make eye contact with him, is that so hard?_ ). “It’s time to talk. You said _years_ ago we would eventually, and you seemed to want to a couple of nights ago. So let’s do it. Let’s just, talk. It doesn’t need to be everything, but it we need to do something, yeah?”

Looking down at my hands, engulfed in his own just like my frame was eaten up by his shadow, I smiled a bit. I felt safe, comfortable even. It had nothing to do with attraction- he made it incredibly clear he was only interested in girls, much to my relief. But it was definitely warm, and I knew, I _guessed_ , he was right. Maybe it was time to talk a little bit.

“Okay, let’s just go to the living room then. I start later than usual tonight anyway,” I said, pulling my hands from his and feeling him stalk behind me as we headed for the couches.

 


	5. Dark Chocolate Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata tells Tadao a little about his past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but then it seemed to long so I cut it apart.
> 
> My goal with this story is less a focus on Kagehina and more a rendition of the A/B/O world and some of th faults that might crack it apart. Some major areas I hope to get into include victim blaming and hopefully dominancy of certain groups over others. I am using this as a practice for my writing, so hopefully it isn't too dreadful.

“I know you said earlier that you didn’t really want to talk about Ennoshita or high school, but I really think we need to start somewhere Hinata,” Tadao quietly commented, trying to find the best way to open me open a little more.

Sitting next to each other, I began to pick at my nail cuticles, trying to find exactly where I _could_ start.

“So… your room was pretty bare…” Tadao began, “But you have two jobs and like, _crazy_ hours. I never see you _not_ working, and I know you don’t spend it on food,” he pulled at my tattered pajama bottoms, “or new clothes. So, where does it all go? Savings?”

Trying my best to stop biting my lip, I respond, “No, a lot of it goes to the medication I take for my Omega hormones ‘n stuff, you know, like the birth control, scent blockers… and some other medical… complications.” Avoiding his eyes, I return to my twiddling thumbs, suddenly aware of a small ache in my hips that I _know_ isn’t there anymore.

“Yeah, but aren’t there grants, welfare programs, that kinda stuff that you spend half of your life waiting in lines for? You’re telling me _all_ of your money gets sucked into medications.”

“Well, not all. Like you said, I put away some into savings. Not a lot, mostly just for emergencies. But most of what I need really need I send back to my parents. They- they’ve done a lot for me, and they let me move out when I asked to, so I feel like I owe them.”

A few beats of awkward silence for me and quiet contemplation for him begets the obvious question Tadao wanted to ask: “…Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’”

“I mean, I get being appreciative to your parents, and I can understand sending some back to them in hard times, but dude, your room literally _only_ has a bed and a closet in it. Not that you could tell with the mess that’s building up~”

“You jerk! I cleaned up a couple of days ago, and why would I need anything else, we have couches here and a kitchen with a table. Why waste the money?”

“It’s not ‘wasting money.’ I just assumed you would’ve liked the privacy of being able to relax in your own room.”

“Hey, I’m not a private guy-“

“Yeah,” Tadao cut in, “about _most_ things, I know by now you are literally the life of every party- you made friends with that 100-kilogram bouncer at the bar last month. But admit it dude, it’s no secret that you are _super_ strict about showing your room to other people. To _me_.”

“Ok, I’ll show me room to other people now, happy? That was a good talk!” I chipped, trying to pull out some energy and hoping that he’ll be satisfied with that. “Now I think that’s good for the night-“

Grabbing my arm before I can escape ( _Looks like that didn’t satisfy him_ ), he looked me dead in the eyes and pushed on, “Let’s talk. And I mean about your past, just a couple of little things you know? So that I can feel like I know a human being and not some Grow-Your-Own-Hinata toy from the nearest department store. _Why_ do you send so much money back to your parents. And I want the real reason please, not something like ‘because I love them _this_ much’” he goaded, flinging his arms out wide with a teasing smirk, “or ‘they had to struggle through so much, they deserve the world-‘“

“But they _do_ deserve the world!” I interrupted, shouting it out as I jumped up.

 _Shit, I didn’t mean to get that loud._ Realizing that I was only a few centimeters away from his face, I slowly began to deflate, losing that energy I scrounged up.

“Hey, don’t stop! _This_ is the Shouyou I know,” he shouted back, grabbing my shoulders. “What happened?” Waiting expectantly on the couch, he looked up to me and patted the spot next to him.

“Ergh. Fine. It’s not a bit deal, really. I just promised myself in middle school that I would pay me parents back for all the extra money they spent on my medical stuff over the years. I presented as an Omega super early, during my last year of grade school, and, well, it was really hard at first. Not just for me, my parents too- more than just financially I’d say. They tried their best… and tried to really understand _me._ ” Sitting down where he patted, I continued.

“Everyone in my class had barely just had all the initial secondary gender education just a few months before y’now? So when I presented, it seemed so sudden. One random morning I just woke up feeling hot and sluggish and told my mom, but she thought I was faking it. She knew that I had a test that day, so I went to school and when I told sensei, she said to rest in the nurse’s office- _after_ my test of course. So I take to test and sneak off to the nurse’s office. I lay there feeling worse and worse until I hear lunch bell ring, and there was _no_ way I was going to miss a game of kickball in the field that day so I leave.

“I try to run out and suddenly it just hits me. It seriously feels like a punch to the gut; I was almost to my classroom in the hallway when _boom_ , my legs fall out from under me and I start gasping. I’m not sure if I got the air knocked out of me or if it was the was the heat, but I couldn’t _breathe_ and I started to panic. My friends came up and started saying something about weird smells and then left to go get our sensei. Of course, when the sensei arrived, they could recognize what my pheromones were and I was picked up and brought to stay in the principal’s office- just in case. He was the top alpha of the school, so they were just following standard procedures.”

One look from Tadao, wide eyed and a bit disgusted, and I began to back track.

“No! Stop right there you sick bastard, the principal wasn’t even there. They left me outside his office for a second as they went to call my parents, because I stopped panicking as hard I guess? I really have no idea why they left me alone, but whatever, some kids were walking down the hall and one of them with dark chocolate hair had presented early too, as a Beta, so they were familiar the scent or something. He pointed and started to come over, but by then another sensei had already started coming to get me and shooed them off.

“Not long after, I got picked up by my mom _and_ dad. They took me to the hospital, had a bunch of tests done, and confirmed what had been obvious since I fell face-first in the hallway. I was officially a male omega, in my medical records now too. They had me stay the night at the hospital to make sure nothing happened during my heat- because I was one of the earliest male omega presentations and apparently the first few heats for male Omegas can get _really_ bad. But nothing happened, so the next day I just went home, my mom helped take care of me, and by the next week I was back to school. Still getting used to my new pheromones, but back at school.

“Except… when I went back to school, everything seemed different. Even if it was just a little bit at first, some of the sensei changed. They would suddenly be cautious when addressing me in class or _way_ more stern in restricting my interactions with the other kids at the playground- sometimes they would make me sit out during more aggressive sessions of tag or kickball. Even now I just think, what the hell? Did they _really_ think I would just break from falling over? No one else was even a presented alpha or anything! God, it was so _frustrating_. But otherwise, they weren’t _the_ problem. It was… fine.

“It was the students, the other kids my age, that I struggled with, and my parents picked up on that. My classmates didn’t really understand what secondary genders were- Not that I understood or anything but they didn’t treat me the same anymore. They just picked up from the adults that I was different, so little by little they stopped playing with me. They would get yelled at for ‘overwhelming’ me by different sensei, and pretty soon were just tired of getting in trouble, too. Eventually, no one really hung out with me anymore. Erm, well, not many did.

 “It’s not like they all were alienating me on purpose, they were just doing what they were ‘supposed’ to, what the adults were doing. Following the leader I guess. But something changed at the end of the year. I was still coping with the realization only a few people would play with me now, and suddenly I would hear these whispers and turn to look at some of the kids I used to hang out with. I loved these people, y’know? I loved my friends. But they would just glance over at me with this look of complete revulsion, like they couldn’t even stomach being around me. And I started giving them their space too, it was pretty obvious they were getting uncomfortable.

Taking a quick gulp and glancing at Tadao, I debated continuing. _It’s not a big deal, just finish the story dammit._

“So then I started trying to learn more about male Omegas. Why they were so gross? Maybe I could prove my school wrong, right? That I wasn’t like the typical Omega. But no one would tell me anything, or my parents would try their best to explain _nothing_ was wrong with me. But there had to be, because all the friends I made over three or four years were now abandoning me. So I ignored them and tried to read some books about it which went _way_ over my head. The one thing that I got out of it is that heats could be triggered from high amounts of stress. So I just thought, ‘be happy and then things will work out’. I don’t get stressed anyway.

“So when my second heat hit, of course it’s at school. Initial heats are pretty irregular, so it being triggered isn’t unusual and the fact that it happened at the place I get most stressed wasn’t surprising. I was hanging around the final remnants of my friend group and I just fall over and start gaping like a fish again. They freak out, obviously, and run off to find some adult. No one was around that area, I think we were at a corner of the school’s open grass area, by a tree? Anyway, all alone, I could discern a couple students approaching me and realize one of them is a beta. _That_ Beta, the one that saw me during my first heat. He comes over and taunts me, hovering right over me. To be honest, when I’m in heat, it’s suffocating. I can’t really focus on anything, especially as a grade schooler, so I couldn’t understand _anything_ he was saying. It was all just gibberish. So I just lay there on the ground gasping, ignoring him because it’s the only thing I could do, when suddenly I feel him pin me down.

“Remember I’m in heat ok? So… he got his hands wrapped around my wrists and he’s basically laying on top of me, and I try to grab _him_. But not to get him off, _to pull him closer_. It’s like, I suddenly smelled his pheromones and then I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I began to try to kiss him or just hold him or something, I don’t know. Then he suddenly punched me, shocker I know, and I immediately let go. Somehow, that woke up me a little and I was lucid enough to hear what he was saying. I could feel my slick on my calves now and I think I got some on him because he was _screaming_ and scooped some of it off his leg and threw it at my face. Then he just came at me, screaming curse words I never heard before and punching and kicking and _biting_. Like, what the fuck? _Biting?_ I can hear things like ‘my dad was right about you fags’ and ‘burn in hell’ and then suddenly he is pulled off of me and I can feel myself being pulled into my mom’s hug. Everything stops, everything is ok, and I just fall asleep. Or something like that, I don’t remember much else.

“I go to the hospital again for a check up on my hormones, then I go back home and wait a few days as my heat finishes. I ended up getting a black eye and some dark bruises, but my dad kept on droning on and on about how strong I was, so why would I care. Finally, I’m forced to go back to school, and I walk my classroom when _everyone_ goes silent. Everyone.” _God that was terrifying._ “They all stare and as I approach a few they shy away. My memory of what the Beta did is pretty much garbage- it’ll take me a while to remember everything that happened- so I only can think to myself, ‘what have I done? Why won’t anyone talk to me?’

“Come lunch, I’m called into the principals office, along with the other Beta. He, the principal, looks furious and demands an apology. Not remembering _anything_ , I whimper out a sorry, but when ask why I need to… well, the principal looks ready to explode and his secretary steps in and says that it’s wrong to attack someone just because I ‘feel the need’. Ends up the Beta told the faculty that I _molested_ him on the playground. I didn’t even know what that meant, but with the slick that got on him and everything, they had some evidence. The prinicipal said ‘actions like that were a crime, you should should be imprisoned’, but the the Beta spoke up and said he didn’t want anyone else to know about it- that it wasn’t a big _deal_.”

Choking out I laugh, I looked up to the ceiling, feeling my eyes go dry and red, “It wasn’t a big deal… So they just suspend me for a week, which I didn’t really consider a punishment but whatever. I just stay at home and enjoy the peace and, honestly, safety. But I get nervous thinking about that Beta again, you know? He let me off, and I know it wasn’t my fault or anything, but he wasn’t the type of guy to just understand _my_ side of the story. So all I can think about the day before I have to go back to school is why, why, why? I just want to _never_ go back, but I have to and now it’s basically the end of the school year- so I just repeat that as a mantra over and over as I walk onto campus. ‘Just a few more weeks, just a few more weeks.’

“And nothing happens. I am completely alone, no one would even _look_ at me now, but I don’t get that nasty beating I thought the Beta was after. He just leaves me alone and I thank every god that’s out there. Finally, he does approach me, during the last week of class.

“He stalks up to the grassy mound I usually sit alone on and I can definitely hear what he says this time, ‘My dad told me all about you guys. About how you make people go crazy and lie to everyone. So, I’ve been telling everyone else in the school.’ That’s the first time anyone had said something like that to me, so I dumbly gawk back and stumble away, scared absolutely shitless.

“He continues, chucking a bit to himself, ‘God, you look so stupid right now.’ I tried to leave right then and there but he grabbed me and basically spat in my face as he continued. ‘Fag, where do you think you’re going? Do you like it, what I did? I told everyone the truth, that you’re a sneaky, weak liar who actually _enjoys_ hurting other people. A freak of nature that just uses people and moves on. You won’t be able to fool _any_ of us now. And you better watch out in middle school. With the alphas around, I’ll make sure to keep you in your place, you little demon.’ And that was it.

“There’s really not much after that. School was basically finished, so I didn’t to deal with that Beta much except for sporadic bits of his teasing But I was terrified about what would happen in the future, what was he going to do to me in middle school? I read those books, I knew how Alphas could basically control Omegas using just their _voice_. I was absolutely petrified.

“My parents knew something happened, but I refused to tell them anything so they just tried to encourage me. They would say that I was moving on to middle school and I wouldn’t have to deal with most of those kids anyway- but you can see why the mention of middle school didn’t really help. I began to _beg_ to just stay in my room.

“So, that was when my mom came up to me and asked me if I wanted to take scentblockers, at least for a while. This is when they were crazy expensive, there weren’t too many political advocates trying to get the government to help out with making them more accessible, so my parents had to make some changes to afford it. My mom got a part time job and my dad was relocated chasing a promotion; we had to move into cheaper housing, which meant living in the middle of nowhere in the woods. I realized in hindsight my parents were basically starving themselves getting me the meds for _years_ until the government began providing support and funds to make it affordable. So, when I was in middle, and I could finally just _begin_ to understand what they were doing to help me, I said I would pay them back, as soon as possible. And now I am. Even now they have a bit of trouble with money, so it really does help them.”

Smiling a little bitterly to myself, I said, “And they really helped me too. I’m not sure how middle school would’ve turned out for me if I didn’t use scentblockers. I really needed it, and they made it work. So I owe them.”

The silence from earlier returns and I finally move my line of sight to meet his, waiting from some sort of reaction, but he just looks as exhausted as I feel.

“Jesus,” Tadao uttered. Turning to look at the floor, he stretched and leaned his elbows on his knees before puffing his cheeks out in a loud huff, “That’s pretty heavy man.” Settling a little lower, he tilted his head side to get a food look at me. “But, thanks for finally starting to trust me.”

“Hey!” I snap back, a familiar smile returning to my face. “I’ve always trusted you.”

 “Yeah, but not like this. Thanks. I really mean it.”

“Oh, well, you’re welcome!”

Wrapping his long arm around my shoulder, he brings me into a hug as I squirm to get away. I try to pry his giant mitts off of me, “You sure you’re not into dudes? ‘Cause you sound like a pining, _gay_ old man. Now let me go, I really need to get some food going. I’ll make you some too~” I said, relaxing into his arms despite what I had just said.

_Jeez, when did I get so tense?_

“Sure, sure. And shut up stupid, I just wanted to hug one of my best friends, is that so wrong.”

“Yes, _Very_ when you are one of the most touch-hungry people I know. I didn’t even realize Betas had that problem.”

“Just the best ones!” Tadao chided as he reached out to ruffle my hair.

Swiftly ducking, I leapt out of his reach and cocked my head to look up at him, “God, shut up, I don’t understand how your girlfriend puts up with you. Feel like anything in particular for dinner?”

“Nah,” he sighed. “I’m going out to grab a bite. Want anything?”

“No thanks, you always take too long. I’ll finish cooking hours before you get back.”

Walking side by side, he shoved me a little, “Like your one to talk. You say you’ll get groceries and then disappear for an entire day!”

“Whatever, go get some food loser.”

“Better not make the kitchen explode midget.” With that, Tadao grabbed his jacket and slunk out the door.

Thinking out loud as I walk to the kitchen, I said, “Yep, I’m pretty sure he’s at least bi, but whatever.”

Searching the fridge, I decided to just reheat some of last night’s stir fry, putting it in the microwave to heat up. A obnoxious beep called me to pull it back out and nabbed my chopsticks and stalk over to the dinner table. Taking the first bite, my mind unearths a few of the moments I didn’t tell Tadao.

x – X - x

Feeling the heavy pull of my eyelids, I fought against their weight until I could crack them open wide enough to recognize I’m in a hospital. Hearing the beeping of the heart monitor, I searched the room in alarm.

_What happe- oh yeah. My heat, they are probably just running some tests to make sure everything is ok._

Tears threatening to spill, I clamped my clammy fingers around the thin, cold fibers of my hospital gown and tried my best to slow my breathing.

_Everything’s okay, everything’s fine. Kaa-san will be here soon. Everything is okay._

Trying my best to calm back down, I suddenly hear some yelling outside my room. _Tou-san_.

“Ayumi, you’re telling me that it’s a good idea to let him keep going like this? Our son has only had his second heat and already he’s getting into trouble, what do you think will happen when an alpha is around next year huh? He’s not going to be able to keep away and he’s going to hurt himself.”

“Benjiro, you know that’s not his fault! He just going to need to learn-“

 _That’s definitely Kaa-san out there too_. As I opened my mouth to call out for her, I heard Tou-san say my name and quickly closed it again.

“And you think Shouyou can do that? Within a few months? He’s going to keep getting in hurt, and getting in trouble, keep getting out of control. How are we supposed to deal with that, with a _fucking male Omega?_ “

“Benjiro!”

Tou-san powered on, “Shouyou is my son, but he’s something else too. He won’t _ever_ be able to defend himself, and it’s _highly_ unlikely he’ll be able to control his heats, or even track them for a long time. It might take more than a decade if Fujiwara-san is right.”

“You need to calm down _right now_ and think about what you are saying Benjiro, this is _our son_.”

“Yes, and he’s going to cause a lot of problems, for himself too. He hates school _already_. And if you think that he’ll just accept himself and everything will be ok, you will be hurting him too. I’ve been trying to accept this, and let me tell you that is not the answer. It won’t change how the world works,”

Hinata heard light sniffles, suddenly his father’s voice got quieter, softer. “I know it’s not his fault he’s an Omega. I know. And I love him now as much as I did yesterday. Shouyou is, and always will be, my son. Nothing can ever change that. I just want to make sure we, as parents, are acting in the best way for him, that we put him on the right track. I think scentblockers can really help him.”

“And I think they’re just a shortcut telling kids something is wrong with them! _Nothing_ is wrong with Shouyou, he needs to know that, especially right now.”

“But there is _something_ wrong, Ayumi. He’s in a hospital bed after getting beat up from a classmate, who Shouyou basically molested.”

Voice sounding tight and thick, Kaa-san spat back, “You _know_ that’s not what Shouyou did. He just needs to learn to what’s happening to him right now.”

Hinata heard a loud sigh, “Fine, fine. We’ll do it your way for now. We can’t afford scentblockers immediately anyway. Hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m just trying to be as straightforward as I can with you. That’s what I promised when he first presented, right? But if things get worse from here, I want to at least offer them to Shouyou. And he can decide if he wants to use scentblockers. Is _that_ ok?”

“Fine. Only if _Shouyou_ says yes.”

“If Shouyou says yes. But birth control is a go right?”

“If it can make Shouyou regular, then yes. Of course.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last sentence, I mean regular as in a regular cycle (like a regular menstrual cycle), that is what Ayumi means (or is it~, jk Ayumi’s a great mom. She might have just let a bit of her subconscious out a little).


	6. Thin, Pale Combover

Standing uncomfortably in the hallway of Sapporo Kinikyou Hospital, I tried my best to stay out of everyone’s way as I looked over my notebook, straining to recall everything that I knew about the medical differences of heart disease between genders.

 _Shit, I accidentally switched the order of my rotations without realizing it, I didn’t look at_ any _of this. But still, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve at least_ thought _that the signs of CVD is different in Omegas than in Alphas and Betas._

Wrapped up in my worries, I didn’t realize my attending doctor had already arrived until I felt someone peeking over my shoulder.

“Ah! Sorry Fujiwara-sensei. I didn’t realize you arrived already,” I managed choke out, hoping that my surprise wasn’t embarrassingly blatant.

“Ennoshita-kun, calm down, you’re doing great!” Fujiwara-san replied, moving closer to read some of my papers. “And studying hard I see! Don’t worry, this is exactly what clinical rotations are for, making a couple mistakes; it’s only your second day. Besides, if you don’t make them now, they’ll catch up to you later when the stakes are higher. Just learn from it.”

Bowing a bit, I said, “I understand sensei, but all the same I really do apologize. I guess jetlag hit me harder than I thought it would, those rotations in America really messed up my internal clock I suppose,” I attempted an awkward chuckle as I lowered my notebook. _I mean really, already well into medical school and I can’t even properly prepare for my first week at a new site._

“Don’t worry about it, clerkships are a pain no matter where you go, but you suffer through,” Fujiwara-sensei said, brushing his thin, pale combover further over his balding head. “And I heard a lot about you from your previous clinics, specifically about how quickly you pick up things, hmm? So just enjoy your time here! Ready to start your new rotation? Hopefully you’re at least a little excited about this elective, considering you chose it.”

 _As excited as I can be when I don’t even know what area I am working in, because it is definitely_ not _ophthalmology._

“Mmhmm, where are we headed now?” I responded.

“Actually, I think this would be a good place to stop. No more patients for the day, hey now, you don’t need to look that relieved.” Chuckling a bit, he pointed to the a few younger physicians, “Just follow the residents before you leave the hospital- yeah, the ones with the blue scrubs. They’ll take you to where to file all the paperwork.”

“Alright, and thank you again sensei for letting me switch to night shifts for the first week. I’m sure you saw how badly I was struggling yesterday after arriving here right off the plane.”

“Yes, it isn’t much of a problem. I had to switch around some of the training nurses anyway, so a couple other changes isn’t much. Just try to adjust back to our time zone soon, you’re going to need all the energy you can here, especially considering how concentrated this rotation’s information can get.”

“Mm? What do you mean?”

“Well, this is one of the only rotations here in Hokkaido that covers Omega physiology, so we are going to need to cover _a lot_.”

 _Omega? I didn’t even realize some electives were entirely devoted to them_.

Glancing over at me, Fujiwara-sensei said, “Pretty cool huh? It’s true not many other prefectures even have _any_ electives for Omegas- now there’s no need to look even more surprised, you’re just easy to read. Due to the reduction in their population sizes over the past few years, many hospitals have reduced the amount of staff that have expertise in this area. Which I think is just a bunch of hogwash, what’s going to happen if a bunch of Omega’s present at once hmm? Their physiology differs a great extent from other types, which I think you’ll find it interesting.”

Writing a couple more notes on his clipboard, he leaned in closer and lowered his voice, “We even have a male Omega studying _here_ because of our specialties too.”

Unable to contain my surprise, I called after him, “A _male_ Omega?”

“Heh, thought you’d be pretty surprised about that too. I think you’ll like him. He doesn’t want too many people to know his secondary gender, but he and I have known each other for a while, so he’s come to trust my judgment. He’s told me numerous times I could tell anyone I deemed ‘necessary’ about his secondary gender. And concerning the fact that you are one of the few training doctors that had the qualifying education and history to be an arniologist, I thought that this might be a good fit for him and you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, I am thinking about retiring within the next decade and he’s going to need a new doctor to help him as time goes on. If you find you like this area enough, maybe you could be his new doctor, yes?”

As this final surprise pushed me past _any_ ability to form a coherent thought, let alone sentence, well, I just nodded dumbly.

“Don’t worry too much about finding that perfect specialty right now. I’m not expecting you to follow my footsteps or anything, and I know not everyone wants to work with Omegas all the time- it takes a lot of self-awareness and self-control. It’s just something I wanted you to think about.”

Walking away, he waved over his shoulder lightly, “Enjoy your day Ennoshita-kun, and get some rest! Oh, and don’t forget to grab your phone from the front desk! I think you might have forgotten it last time.”

Blankly staring back, I reflected on my new spot in SKH for a moment until I walk a few steps to the front desk to pick up my cell phone.

_Working with an arniologist? And a male Omega himself? Besides the fact that there’s barely over a hundred of those here in Japan, there are even fewer that go to the medical field, which makes sense. Their natural charms and people skills normally lead them to something with entertainment or business. I wonder when I’ll meet the one working here._

Getting strangely excited, I approached the residents and asked them where I file my work. After a few quick instructions, I began to weave through the halls, taking turn after turn and trying my best to remember every bend of the corrider.

_I don’t see many people around here, maybe I took a wrong turn? Well, I am pretty sure this is where they said to go…_

Debating whether or not to search out more directions, I paused for a moment when I briefly caught a bright orange out of the corner of my eye.

“Oomf, hey, watch where you’re going idio- Oh! Hey there sweetheart, need any help with that pile? You’re so short, I didn’t even see you toddling behind them.”

Waddling out of a room, tufts of red hair could barely be seen above a precariously stacked pile of boxes ( _Seriously, how did I catch that_ ) as a lone male orderly crowded around the hidden figure. Stepping out into the hallway, petite shoulders bent tense and annoyed, as if trying to cover the owner’s ears, and it was clear the shorty was _not having it_. Eyes steeled forward, meaning straight into the cardboard box, the redhead came into full view with his stubborn, awkward strides.

_Hinata? He’s wearing some of the scrubs I saw most of the nurses wearing. Does he work here?_

“Nah, this is the last thing I have to do today before I am done and out of here. I can do this much by myself, thank you very much,” his voice grit out, it’s usual light chime replaced with a buzz heavy with annoyance. “Now, as I have told you many times before, I think this is your cue to exit. Isn’t room 209 calling for your assistance?”

_Wow, I guess that is Hinata. If the hair wasn’t a dead giveaway, that voice sure is. At least his usual height complex does seem to have gotten a bit better, in high school he would have exploded by now._

“Hey, don’t be like that. I just figured a Keukegen like you could use all the help you can get, especially in a hospital already full of disease.” Moving to try to swipe a box from the short nurse, the orderly continued, “Imps like you need to be careful to watch their limits before they cause problems for everyone. Let me help ya out for a bit, okay? I’ll even take you out to dinner later too, just stop being so stubborn.”

Halting so that the man’s long arms swung empty through the thin air, Hinata took a deep breathe before curtly replying, “Shouldn’t that be my line? Stop acting like a six-year-old and go back to work or something, I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” Swiftly dodging around the man, Hinata’s pace increased in an effort to escape.

“What six-year old? You’re the only one tiny enough to be mistaken for one around here, you little dwarf. Now just let me help you! Seriously, why won’t you just give me a chance?”

“I know it might come as a surprise, but even after that lovely list of compliments, I have a long record of reasons _not_ to. Maybe if you were a decent human and didn’t dick around with every single person in this hospital, I-I would th-think about it. Now, ahem, I think this is the third time I have turned you down, hopefully the last, get the message?” Though his voice trembled a couple of moments, its steel remained as he marched down the hall.

Scents began to fill the air, informing me that, yes, the hulk of a man was indeed an Alpha, but something sweeter, something _distinctive_ began to waft from Hinata.

With that, the larger man grabbed Hinata’s arm, making his load fall to the ground with a resounding _thump_. “And I asked you out to dinner tonight. I know you switched around the shifts to avoid seeing me, you don’t have to be such a coward. I didn’t mean anything with what I said-“

Thinking that was _my_ cue to step in, I began to move forward when I heard Hinata’s voice turn dark, almost dead.

 “ _Not here_.” Yanking his arm back, Hinata glared defiantly back. “And I could _not_ care less what you have to say right now. I did what I said I would, but you need to hold up your side. No trouble. For _anyone_ I know, and that includes _me_.”

“Well that was then and this is now. Come on, let’s have some fun, I’m sure you are dying to get-“

“ _Asshole_ ,” Hinata cut in. “We’re done here, like we had agreed about before.” Lifting the boxes with enough speed that he had to stumble back a few steps, he quickly regained his composure and straightened his back as he basically ran away from the alpha.

As he disappeared around the corner, the Alpha scratched his neck and turned to walk away, finally catching sight of me. Smiling with an unsettling grin on his face, he waved at me and walked away.

_What… was that?_

Shaking myself a bit, I remember my purpose and look for the file room amongst the dozens of passing doors.

_I guess something is up with Hinata, but he looks like he has a handle on things. He clearly doesn’t want me butting in on his life- I barely know him anyways._

Seeing that the room numbers were getting closer to the one I was looking for, a couple seconds passed until I reach my goal, the arniology filing room. My phone vibrated, and I see a short message from Fujiwara-san:

_“I know I said you were done for the day, but would you mind pulling a file from the room and dropping it off to me before you leave? One of my patients seems to need a different prescription of scentblockers and I need to look at his history.”_

Skimming over my text, I think to myself and shake my head, _How does he already have my phone number? Whatever_.

Going through the cabinets, I find the manila folder as described. Out of curiosity, I peek into its contents, briefly hearing my lectures about patient information confidentiality.

_It's not like this folder's a big secret. I'm going to work with all of Fujiwara-san's patients anyway, if they're an Omega at least. So I might as well get a... jump start. Yeah. I don't want to make another mistake, this is just pooling my resources._

Pulling open the folder wider, I skim over the contents when I catch a name that seems familiar. Rereading it to make sure I read it right, I look at the name and the rest of the folder's data. Dragging my eyes back to the top, I feel my body go cold in shock:

**Hinata Shouyou**

**Primary Gender: Male**

**Secondary Gender: Omega**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
>   * _Keukegen_ (毛羽毛現): In Japanese mythology, this is a yokai whose name can be directly translated to “hairy, fluffy sight” or “rare and dubious thing”- two things that Hinata can definitely be called. It is also small, dirty, and brings bad luck or pestilence- which HInata is/does NOT- but the aggressor is using it to make fun of Hinata. I just wanted to use a yokai here because I think they’re super interesting 
>   * _Arniology_ : This is the word I made up to cover the study of Omegas; "Arnion" means "a little lamb" in Greek so I worked with it 
> 



	7. Spiked, Stiff Hair

Turning his face to the horizon, brown eyes burned bright as he scanned the setting sun, irises turning to almost a liquid gold. A small sigh puffed from the Omega’s mouth as lazy eyes slipped closed.

 _God, he’s so beautiful,_ I thought to myself

Tilting his head to the side and pulling my oven mitt of a hand over his own, the redhead hummed in thought.

“What is it?”

A stifled chuckle burst from Hinata’s lips, causing me glance quickly down at my boyfriend before I looked away again, suddenly acutely aware of the light blush burning in my cheeks and thankful yet again for our height difference. It’s much easier to hide my embarassment.

“Seriously, what?” I pushed.

Turning his head, with his eyes somehow burning even brighter, Hinata continued to chuckle slightly as he said, “I was thinking about how I couldn’t remember the last time you didn’t call me either baka, idiot, or dumbass when you spoke to me. And then, you said two sentences- very short ones, but still- without calling me stupid.” Hinata’s smile grew.

“Dumbass.” This idiot is bad for my heart.

Laughing a bit more freely, Hinata leaned against me, saying, “There we go. I was starting to wonder where my boyfriend went.”

I could definitely feel my blushing growing darker. “What about you, huh? Always-”

Cutting me off, Hinata turned his body a little more so he could wrap his arms around my neck, thin, little fingers brushing through my oily hair, freshly sweat out from practice. Pulling me down, I begin to try to shake him off ( _I must smell soo bad_ ) when he pulls down harder until our foreheads are touching.

“Don’t you dare move,” he commanded, and I nod slightly. Seemingly satisfied, he skims his hands down my shoulders and curls his arms about my waist. The entire time, his eyes remain trained on me, discerning every shiver and twitch that travels down my body at his touch.

_Damn this kid, he knows exactly what he does to me when-_

Before I can _think_ one more word, Hinata interrupts with soft kiss on my lips, and my face basically bursts into flames.

“B-baka, I’m not used to that yet,” I manage to cough out.

“That’s exactly why I do it, you need to get used to it hmm?” A coy smile sneaks onto his face as he tried to reach up to my face. Unable to handle anymore I grab his shoulders and push him a bit away, causing him to laugh deep and hard.

 _God, that’s my favourite sound_.

“No need to be so nervous Bakageyama, it’s just me,” Hinata teased. “But I get it, I’ll stop playing with you so much. But sometimes, I just can’t help it~”

Pulling up my hand and giving it a quick peck, he turns back to the sky, sun already set and the air quickly chilling. Shivering, he wraps himself around me, his body dwarfed by my own as he tries to shimmy deeper into my side.

“Kageyama, you know, I’ll always lo-”

**BUZZ**

**BUZZ**

**BUZZ**

**BUZ---**

Sunlight peeked through my blinds as the alarm clock called out its chants, somehow seeming more annoying than it ever had before.

_Huh, just four buzzes is enough to get me up now huh? Usually I can dream a little longer before-_

All thoughts ceased for a moment as streams of pain shot down my thighs, leaving a sensitive buzz in their wake. Quiet whimpers vibrated my throat as I struggled to stand up, trying to get to my phone so I could text the captain about having to miss today’s practice. Now if I could just grab. my. _stupid. phone._

_God, this is stupid. Sleep is stupid, ruts are stupid. Hinata is stupid. For how regular I am in getting them, why do I always feel like I’m gonna die. Jesus Christ._

Finally getting to the bathroom, I grabbed my charging phone ( _why did I even decide to charge it in this stupid bathroom anyway. Stupid)_ and swiped it unlocked, light blinding me and feeding the progression of my growing migraine.

 _Text the captain. Drink some water. Go to sleep. Text the captain. Drink some water. Go to sleep_.

After updating the captain on what was happening and grabbing that glass of promised water (I found out that- of course- one of the few joys in my life, milk, made my rut worse), I slipped back under my sheets, trying my best not to rub whatever it was that was throbbing and, ultimately, to prevent any of my cum from going anywhere.

_Highly unlikely. Hopefully the suppressants I took last night work and my rut just lasts the rest of the day- maybe even with a little bit of luck- with minimal clean up after all of this… Who am I kidding, what luck.._

Another burst of heat coursed through my body.

_Bloody hell, is this getting worse? At least I live alone..._

. - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - .

Walking into the gym, the familiar echo of thumping volleyballs filled the air, grounding the last of my wayward thoughts. I could sense the last strings of my suffocating rut melt away, replaced by the familiar comfort of the court. , I headed to the locker room, feeling the approval of my body,

 _Damn right, I belong here_.

Making my way down the corridors, I could overhear some of my teammates talking about their most recent sex exploits.

“Damn, that beta was amazing last night. As good as an Omega I’d bet,” Daiki moaned as he leaned against the lockers, already fully dressed in his volleyball garb.

 _Huh, I guess it’s more sex talk. Seriously, don’t these guys ever talk about anything else? Or can’t they at least drudge out just a_ little _respect for the guy who is currently trying to avoid another round of rut,_ I thought to myself bitterly.

“Oh yeah?” Aran barked back. “Have you even seen an Omega. They are literally _born_ for us alphas. How can a Beta compare to such a beautifully formed piece of ass.” I stood still for a moment, trying to remember my university coach’s advice to _breathe_. I did **not** like where this was going.

Daiki relented, nodding his head as he tilted it towards the ceiling. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. To be honest, I’ve never seen too many Omegas. Being so focused with volleyball ‘n all, I was either at the gym or the court- and you’d guess how many Omegas hung around there with so many alphas sweating and grunting.”

“Yeah, I heard they get wet even _smelling_ us sometimes,” Aran mused.

“It pisses me off that Omegas never hung around the court after games finished though,” Daiki continued. “I mean, I would glance into the stands when I smelt something nice and fuckable, but no one would ever stay afterwards. God, if I could just get _one_ chance to _really_ talk to one, I swear, I would get her into a bed in less than an hour.”

Apparently the whole “breathing” thing wasn’t enough to keep me cool, so I resorted to moving onto the bench and crushing its edges in the grasp of my fingers. Hopefully that would do the trick.

“HAH! As if a dork like you actual even slept with that Beta last night- she was _way_ out of your league. And sleeping with an Omega? Dream on, you’d be lucky to get a scentless to stomach your sorry ass,” Hanamaki called out as he strode into the aisle from the locker room door.

“God,” Daiki complained, rubbing his arms as if that could bring solace from his jarring thoughts. “Don’t even talk to me about scentless. There was one freak who had the audacity to ask me out on a date in my last year of college. Thank god I just had to say no once, I was scared she was going to come back again!”

Another alpha turned to Daiki and eyed him in tired exasperation. “You guys are all dicks, scentless people are fine. Honestly, they’re the most normal people out there, not controlled by their hormones and shit. If anything, I like steering clear of those pussy Omegas,” the alpha, Yamagata, mumbled. His voice was steeled yet somehow simultaneously quiet as the rest of the team stared at him in confusion.

“Wait, you don’t _ever_ want to get with an Omega? Not once? Are you sure you’re an Alpha?” Daiki snorted, his face warped in a wild smirk, wide with incredulity.

“Yes, and clearly you haven’t met an Omega if you think they’re all daisies and daffodils. I have dated two Omegas, _two_ , and talked with quite a few of their Omega friends. They are all the same: snotty, demanding little bitches that are great in bed but really can’t do anything well except suck a dick. Which might be perfect for most of you, but I want more in a relationship,” Yamagata replied calmly, tying his shoes without glancing up.

“God, you dating _two_ Omegas? Now that I’d like to see. And come on, maybe long term you’d want something else besides an Omega, but we’re in the time of our lives to just have _fun_. You’re telling me that if an Omega _begged_ to have sex with you, and only sex, then you would still say no?” Aran questioned, looking just as incredulous as Daiki.

“Well, yeah, if it were ever that easy, but maybe your pea brain forgets the difference between fantasy and reality? No Omega is just going to beg for it unless they are in heat- which won’t happen trust me. Meiso and Yuki, the two Omegas I dated, were super anal- and not in the good way- about avoiding me when they were in heat. I never even got to _see_ Yuki’s heat, and we dated for almost two years. And I only saw Meiso in heat once.”

“And you’re telling me that wasn’t good, huh?” Hanamaki baited.

Yamagata leered a little at that, running a hand through his spiked, stiff hair. “Yeah, ok, now _that_ was amazing, I couldn’t get her off of me. But, trust me guys, it’s not worth it if you aren’t sure you’re gonna get it. And you are _never_ sure if you’re gonna get it. They can be serious prudes most of the time, always freaking out about the littlest touches. Not saying that the heat wasn’t good or anything, but even that moment of heat wasn’t planned- just luck.”

“Luck?”

“Yeah, her birth control messed up her cycle or something and she got it a little early. I think it might have been aligning with my rut because I had just finished it.”

“So it’s true? Heats and ruts line up?” Daiki asked.

“Yeah, it seemed like it,” Yamagata said. “Both of them would lock themselves up in their rooms for a couple days right around when I had my rut, so I guess?”

“If they hated their heats so much, why didn’t they take suppressors?” Hanamaki asked. “My little sister has an Omega friend who lives off of those things.”

“Uhuh, I asked them that too,” Yamagata as he stood up and stretched. “They said the suppressors sometimes made them sick or sleepy or some shit. And they said sex wasn’t as good when they were on them, said their orgasms weren’t as intense. They just made sure they were bonded to an alpha if they weren’t taking suppressants. So that they wouldn’t have to worry about other guys botherin’ them. Frankly, I didn’t really care either way, as long as I got some. And when I realized it wasn’t that easy, I cut them loose.”

“Mhmm, I hear you,” Aran called out as he headed to the door. “Now let’s all get off our asses and get to work, we have some volleyball to do.”

Stiff hands let go of the bench as I stood up to follow the rest of the team to practice, thanking whoever is out there for helping him keep his shit together.

_At least it isn’t as bad as usual. Most of the time I can’t stomach what those dicks say._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is mainly to build the world that they live in a bit more, and to show common thoughts that exist about Omegas- and help show a bit of _why_ Hinata doesn't want others to know he is an Omega himself. Sorry, I know this is taking forever and getting boring. I can't write. Likes really encourage me to continue this, I'm struggling my friends T.T


End file.
